What good are you, if you aren’t yourself?

God made me because He had me in mind,  and knew I was the prescribed soil for a group of people, a city, a nation, a generation.


So many times, because of our own insecurities, because of church folk telling us to clean up, because the world tells us to sit down, we shut up and let go of who God fully intended us to be and never fully accomplish His work.

My name is Heather. I’m 22 years old. I’m the youngest. I’m mixed. I have a ‘white name’ in a brown body, and I get a kick out of it. I love my cultures ( as I’m created from many ;-D ) and am proud to be me. Proud to talk the dialect of non-ghetto, so good that people think I’m the valley girl, and its not an act. I’m proud to be eclitic in personality, although some consider A.D.D. , but I am who I am and I’m not ashamed anymore.

I’m not ashamed anymore as I ride down 95, blasting K95, the wolf, Richmond’s country station. Cos thats me, thats who Iam, to a fault. Maybe its my fault, but I’m not ashamed? I’ve been liberated as good as eve was promised and yet failed in the garden. I’ve been liberated as much as david dance naked and appeared naked as he was, show he was himself, a beloved.

See I’m a beloved and thats why I’m free. I don’t need your approval, I don’t need your pleas. I’m not here to try and be relevent, cos thats not my name.

My name is Heather – Nicole – Toler

A flower that grows, thrives, in those rocky places. I’ve seen those rocky faces, battling depression and suicide, I wanted to die, cutting up my arms and walking on my heart. Rocky place, like losing your father before you ever knew him, and not having an explanation on why you like weird things and had crazy dreams cos you never ever saw that side.

I am who I am, and will ride what I ride. God loves ugly, and that’s a compliment. Hope you get something out of this…. Out of my struggle, nonsense or maybe nuisance questions, but for now, one question…

Want a cracker?