I’m getting older.

Now all you folks reading this, who are over the age of 35, please don’t snub your nose at me for saying this, because I am.

As I am getting older and thinking on random things I realize how immature I am.

Immature in my physical being, my personality, immature in my walk with Christ, and most immature to my daddy-God.

I’ve been learning lately to honor those to whom honor is due, and even honor those who don’t deserve it. But more important than just honoring the folks down here, I am at 22 years old I am having to relearn how to honor my daddy-God. And its hard. I’m crossed between that conditional love of a 1 year old and the tantrum nature of a 3 year old not getting its way. So I’m four, I guess.

The past few years of my life I’ve seen some unexplainable things, I’ve seen God’s mercy, questioned His sovereignty, and have also been all out mad at God. ( If you don’t believe me check the archives of this blog, lol) But the reigning theme of it all has been to trust, accept, and acknowledge God as God. In the face of tragedy, that I need to be real with God about my grief and anger, but also trust Him in it ( I’m not at all saying it easy!)  I’ve gotten mad and angered by God’s movement or lacktherof, but with maturity you tend to learn something so special and unique about God’s character. His love!  That God is a God who knows all things, the beginning from the end and the end from that. And as hard as it is to go through the things we go through, somehow God loves us and see’s fit to allow or not allow things in our lives, because it could be so much worse, it could crush us and He doesnt want that. As I type this it feels like a repetitive post, as I blogged on this earlier this year (God Saw Fit) , but I can’t shake it. I’m learning to love , trust, and obey God regardless of what I see, because He knows me. He knows my emotions, my past, present, and future, what I can and cannot handle.

So as I’m striving, making great effort to mature in my Christianity, I’m learning to stop throwing tantrums with God because it doesn’t go my way, or because my feelings get hurt. He knows all, and I’ll trust it.