Time heals all wounds….

I used to think this was true, I used to bank on it, waiting and waiting for time to heal all my wounds. When in all reality if a broken bone isn’t set you may get used to the pain, but full mobility won’t happen until its reabilitated. If you have a flesh wound that isn’t covered and clean infection will set in and a need to amputate may present itself.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds, time just passes, and its what you do with that time that determines healing or no healing.

With that said, I’m damaged. I have no issue in admitting that, ‘cos for the first time I am totally aware of the fact that its repairable. I’m incredibly guarded and I don’t want to be. I stick with what I know ‘cos what I know can’t hurt me, but now I’m no longer with what I know and realizing that I’m so broken and damaged.  I can’t relax, always on my toes trying to figure out a way to be ok instead of just being ok. When I try to fit in its seems awkward.

This is 75% my fault. I should have consulted God concerning Him, and yet I did, I’m just blaming me becauseI don’t want to blame God. God knows I’m angry though. He knows I hate being this way. He knows I feel disfunctional, and I’m sick of it. I’m angry he allowed me to not be loved correctly. Can’t you stop these things….

You ruined me…