I figure I may as well start off with the truth, rather than dance around it, being free to speak will probably allow good to come from this!

I’m alittle complicated, ok, alot complicated, but thats good too.

2008 was a hard year to get through, but I’m glad I got through. I hated ministry and yet I was working in it. I resented to the point where I felt like it was my only marketable skill, sad right, but I’m a church worm. I was born in church, dedicated, raised, and by 12 probably more “spiritually mature” than most 40 year olds. When I was  14 I started leading worship, then at 15, God moved me from the church I grew up in, to a new place. I went to the new place and spent 7 years learning, and growing, and being used of God, though at some points I felt more used by man. I sang in a traveling worship team, lead worship for 2 year prior, taught on a weekly basis to the college group I shepherded, and even got out of my shy box enough to preach a time or two. During this time I had a mirage of people surrounding me, building me up, and hung onto a relationship with a guy that was tearing me down. It was kind of sad actually. I dealt with the relationship for nine months, and felt like a kid being born I was, thank God, pushed out of the womb of that situation, and ended it. I dealt with betrayal, and turned down to job offers to actually be in “full time paid ministry”. I went through a transformation of sorts, where what used to satisfy, didn’t any longer. Suddenly the word on Sundays, Sunday nights, and Wednesday, weren’t enough. Suddenly the way I used to worship wasn’t enough, even where I sat wasn’t enough! I thought surely something was wrong with me. I started making plans to leave and move to Dallas, and try for a job as a Production Assistant at christian network, after all I had 7 yrs under my belt of church television experience, and I’m a quick learner. But God said no. I’m glad.  God deemed it necessary to rearrange my life, right where I was and I didn’t like it. So thats what this blog is about.

The rearranging of my life, to what he wants it to be.

H

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